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subwaydouchery:

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : The Obvious Choice 

The bagel is one the most acceptable foods to eat on the subway. A close second, a huge sticky hunk of watermelon! For a girl on the go, there truly is no other choice. See ya later Luna Bars! Adios Fiber One! Time to make the donuts somewhere else, Dunkin’ ! This gal is going o’naturale with one of nature’s most obvious options for subway dining. 

It’s sooooo easy! Buy yourself an enormous watermelon. Cut it up at home, you don’t want to bring a knife on the train! Pick a prize piece, grab an adorable pink spoon and you are ready to rock! Napkins? What are you?!?! A communist?!?! Just wipe your sticky hands on the seats or the subway pole! What to do with the seeds? Spit them on the floor! It’s fun and then they become someone else’s problem. Exactly as they should be! Next time you need a quick hassle free snack, PICK WATERMELON! 

*** Thanks a million to a dear confidant of the Douchery, Meredith! She sent in a lovely pictorial! Keep on Douchin’ ***

Ok, I’ve eaten some random as shit while on the subway (usually while drunk at about 3am) but this is even too much for me.